seeking inspiration

04Aug07

could a person write this in an ad? Something like;

Seeking Inspiration.

Looking for anything to enlighten or delight my inner muse. Hallmark writers need not apply.

Because of my foot issues I couldn’t really do much – well I could not do anything that did not involve heat on my toes, the wearing of shoes and walking more than 100 ft. Who’s complaining? I was able to hit the toilet when necessary, could make myself popcorn however, I also spent hours and hours doing the one activity I probably least like in the world; watching television.

I could almost hear the voice in my head, which is almost always judgmental in nature – “read a book.” I read three – the first three days – cover to cover, non-stop and then ran out of material. With the shoe issue being very real I could not hit the local library or bookstore to replenish my stock. You know the all too familiar rule; no shoes, no shirt, no service. Dang!

So TV it became – and on and on the annoying canned laughter, the inane jokes, the stupid plots to lives I’m convinced no one should be interested in. I could have quilted; done something productive with my life. But the truth is the sewing did not filter out the pain as well as watching people make complete idiots of themselves. This is my constant comment to my hubby while I watch. “How would you like to put that on your resume?” Usually this is what I say when the Geico Caveman shows up – or someone eats something that was never intended to be humanly digested – or, oh yeah! my favorite time? when anyone comes on who now works under the current bush administration. “How’d ja like to put that on your resume?” And we go into fits of giggles. That being an inside joke to an inside joke – you know, like the Russian dolls only in humor form. 

For those who finally after all of my complaining would like to be “in the know”, informed, “part of the loop” as they say it was hot grease. Extremely hot grease, now I never actually took it’s temperature, I only took the time to spill a very large amount of it all over my feet on a very hot day. When the stinging never really shut down no matter how many ice packs, dousing of my feet in cold water, or Tylenol I took, I then began to wonder if I should hit a local hospital. The problem was at that current time I had thirteen guests in my home. {Is the number unlucky?… you tell me.}

I ran this through my head; me spending the evening in an emergency room or me putting my feet in the kiddie pool while drinking glasses of wine. Maybe it’s just me but I really liked door number two on this one. Besides I am probably the one human being on the planet who thinks that doctors make horrible mistakes so I just don’t trust them. To me bankers, lawyers and doctors fall under the same category – it begins with the illusion in which they think they are god and end with life changes, not their own, but the lives are altered and often not for the better. Let’s put it this way I trust refreshing glasses of wine and a kiddie pool more than I trust doctors.

I don’t know how to categorize the type of burn I only know I did go into a real mild form of shock and today finally the swelling is down. One foot is completely functional and about 90% of my second foot but one small area (about the size of a quarter) pretty much always hurts and so far to me it shows no real signs of healing. It will however, as they say time heals all wounds. Feet, feet, feet it’s like anything else I never think of them but they mean so much more to me when they are nonfunctional. Good thing my hubby didn’t have a fetish and thus married me because of my once lovely feet.

p.s. the chicken was fabulous.

So today I walked ……looking for, seeking out, my soul attempting to solicit any kind of inspiration. When my daily hikes subsided into nothingness I became more and more aware of an inner light in me also dying. The canned laughter only seemed to mock this death. While I walked everything was new. I was relearning really how to work the damn camera. Relearning how to follow the pups in such a way as to stay ahead of the pack. Oh yes and learning how to walk with the hopefully barely perceivable slight limp I now have. I don’t mind the scars so much (chicks dig scars right?) but hopefully the limp will go away.

Meanwhile, this is what I saw. And tho a tiny bit of inspiration lit me up it was barely enough to keep me walking. So I’m seeking this thing – this passion that was so missed, quite literally, all the way down to the tips of my toes.

snow berry

Common Snowberry (Symphoricarpos albus) Occasionally, Native Americans would eat one or two of the berries after a big meal, but for the most part they were considered poisonous. Deer eat the leaves while many small birds nest under the plants and occasionally if other food is unavailable some birds will partake of the berries, like the rufous sided towhee. By the way it was necessary for me to make a correction on another page. What I thought was dogbane turned out to be a snowberry bush. {corrected page} My mistake, my mistake: okay, that’s a given since no one else knows my password.

thistle

August brings a different kind of fruit and flower (at least in these parts) The thistle plant I found down by the creek was actually only about three feet high. In undisturbed areas however I’ve seen them reach as tall as nine feet with thorns as long as my pinky finger. (By the way that’s how us country folk measure things by utilizing various and sundry body parts. We giggle at a man who pulls out a tape measure for anything under two feet long.) The plant is a fascinatingly dangerous thing to behold. (It also gives anyone with an IQ over 80 a pause before running through these lands.)

100_8537

And no, this is not a tomato plant. What with the close up and the similar leaves you would think it would be however, it is a now bush of rose hips. (Used to be a bush of Pear hip roses.) Rose hips are still used by many in tea – if hiking while your boiling your water to ensure it’s good to drink, you can drop a couple of these in your coffee pot if you like. I don’t think it has any nutritional value however, it tastes very good.

100_84711

I left the tree in the background so that the viewer can get a sense of the size of this plant. It was Montucky that had informed me that the small, fuzzy, completely adorable mullein plant is what caused these poles to erupt in August. We’ve commented back and forth how they provide awesome playthings for children and I’ll also mention my dogs like to eat them too. Course…. what don’t my dogs eat?

mullien flowers

Here is a close up of the flowering tip. (Verbascum thapsus)

Anyway here I am making a toast to your shoes, to the callouses on your feet, to your favorite pair of hiking boots and anything that works wonderfully at getting you from here to there. Whatever it takes for you to find the next mystery, the new question and especially those things that are so beautiful they stop you – just short of inhaling.

Gandhi said this; Control does not exist. No matter how badly we want it too. In it’s place is however is something much more powerful, beautiful and enticing and it’s called inspiration. We control nothing that we touch and inspire everything we touch.

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9 Responses to “seeking inspiration”

  1. Nice to see you getting out and about again. Nice article. I hardly ever watch television anymore myself, not even sports as it seems the media is going to ruin it. Love the thistle picture as they fascinate me as well. I’ve been contemplating doing a pencil drawing of one. Their texture is so unlike anything else. My fiancée calls them a bratty flower and my buddy a southern cactus!

  2. 2 montucky

    Glad to see you’re mobile and no real serious damage. The most long-term damage is probably having to watch that much TV! I agree with you on that! I really like the shot of the thistle. We have them in western Montana but not right near my house so I haven’t seen them this year yet. I enjoyed your post!

  3. Hi guys, thanks for the words of encouragement – and yep, I’ll heal up. Honestly I was disappointed in my thistle shot but that’s because I couldn’t take that darned blue cast out of it. I ran a ton of different ISO’s – angles… nothing helped. It didn’t seem as real as I’d liked but thank you. (It is a fascinating plant tho.)

  4. Ouch, sorry about the burns, they can be awfully painful, I also really like the thistle shot it looks like it could be a white balance thing here. Did you happen to take this shot in open shade, if so that is probably the reason for it. If you shot this in raw you can change the color temp, this happens to me all the time. Very nice images here, hope you get to feeling better, and get out and burn that camera up(no pun intended).

  5. Hi Bernie – white balance and of course your very correct. Cuz yep it was taken in open shade. I’ll attempt to alter the color temp via my software. (Maybe I can produce an image I will like a lot better.) :o) Thank you for the tip! (Already I feel so much better – I think it’s offically time to pull out my hiking boots.) Oh yeah, and the mosquito spray.

  6. p.s. thanks Bernie – that helped a lot I’m much happier with the photo now. 🙂

  7. 7 sfsg

    fuck you

  8. I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays.


  1. 1 The second installment of berry’s to eat or not to eat… « Random Musings

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